Brian Does Arkansas

While it is unclear whether or not Brian Cashman wheeled into Arkansas on his own "hog," it is clear that he will do pretty much anything to try and sign Lee.

And for this, we are grateful.

If you look carefully, you can get a glimpse of Brian's pate just behind the far left window of this four star BBQ restaurant.

His slightly receding hairline is reflecting the sun onto the table brand hot sauce ( made by Lillie Sue Venom, a local chef and potter).

According to the Daily Razorback, Lillie Sue is likely to be the local Tea Party's 2012 candidate for the US Senate. And although you cannot see Russia from her front porch, she is know to frown upon both masturbation and witchery. A former runner for the "clan," she believes all real Americans should carry an AK-47 at all times, with full banana clip.

As seen in the photo, the local Arkansans appeared friendly and welcoming to the non locals arriving in their Cadillac Escalades for the meeting with Cliff Lee's family. Brian Cashman, the articulate, educated millionaire and NYY General Manager from NYC entered the restaurant wearing a blue pin-stripe suit and yellow ( power) tie from Brooks Brothers on Madison Ave.

It was well that he was introduced as "General" manager, because several of the locals believed that Manager was his last name. Here, a little military recognition goes a long way.

Upon finishing his pulled pork, ham hock and red beans, "our red state plate special," noted Lillie Sue, Brian's tie had to be removed and boiled due to excessive BBQ sauce and various unidentifiable drippings.

He was last seen wearing a red and white checkered paper napkin bearing the slogan, " take America back from those university people and scientists."

There were two notable mis-spellings in the slogan which I am too kind to point out. And the one grammatical error. Technically, there should also have been an element of punctuation at the end of the slogan, but this is going too far, too soon.

I mean, it is only a napkin, right?

Moving right along;

I would be remiss if I failed to note that there is still joy in this iconic small town from the recent national elections, where the Muslim President, a non native American ( if you think these dudes accept Hawaii as a state, get a life ), got " buggered." I later learned that this is a common phrase used up at the local prison.

This afternoon, Brian is going to try using his hands to catch a giant catfish hiding in mud holes along the local creek bed. If he is able to wrestle one out without drowning or losing a limb, he'll be allowed to sign Cliff Lee. He will be accompanied on this adventure by the current mayor...the guy in the red tee shirt who is doing his best to appear really pleased to see us.

If Brian is unsuccessful pulling out a giant catfish, he leaves his hog for the good ole boys and is escorted out of town on a rail.

Tell me the Red sox don't have an advantage in this town.