Yanks embarrassed by revelation that Jeter's agent was Taliban impersonator

KABUL _ Taliban commanders in Afghanistan are reacting with amusement this weekend to news of an impostor who, by claiming he was Derek Jeter's agent, managed to fool Yankee officials and get invited to high-level contract talks.


The man pretending to be insurgent agent Casey Close was in fact a shopkeeper from Quetta in Western Pakistan, they said.


“Imagine,” Mohammad Shapiro, a senior Taliban commander, (pictured) told IT IS HIGH, “if a shopkeeper from Quetta can make barnyard pigs of them (the Steinbrenners) and keep them engaged in talks for a six or seven year deal at $150 million, how do they believe they can sign Cliff Lee?

"Oy," he continued. "A hundred fifty million? That's a chunka poppy droppings. If our leadoff terrorist hit into 20 doubleplays, we would post his butterknife beheading on YouTube. Of course, we cannot post anything on YouTube because of their infidel copyright lawyers. Did you know they are Hamas?"