BREAKING ALERT: Rangers trying to steal our player

It is time for the Yankiverse -- led by Elfen Daredevil Cashman -- to erect a human shield, or a moat of bodily fluids, around the home of Cliff Lee, or perhaps the entire state of Arkansas. We are under attack.

The Texas Rangers, apparently feeling cocky about their 2010 World Series triumph over the San Francisco Giants -- wait, did I get that right -- are strutting down the streets of Little Rock like songful bullies on an episode of Glee. (Note: For the record, IIH maintains neutrality on the subject of "Glee." Yes, it is insipid. But let's not forget that it killed the "High School Musical" franchise.)

Says the Prophet Sandfein:

The Rangers made a another house call on Cliff Lee in Arkansas Wednesday, trying to convince the lefthander to stay in Texas. But while the Rangers are hopeful that Lee's positive experience this season - as well as Arlington's proximity to his home in Arkansas - will help them retain the 2008 AL Cy Young Award winner, he is not expected to make any decisions until next week's winter meetings at Disney World.

Get to Arkansas, everybody. Form a wall. We cannot let them encroach upon our domain. The borders must be maintained. KEEP TEXAS IN TEXAS.

Remember:

SIGN CLIFF LEE.
THERE'S NO PLAN B