Grand Yankee dame tells Missouri columnist to shove it

Mike Pound of the Joplin Globe has declared himself a Yankee-hater. Hopefully, he would recuse himself from ever writing about or covering a game that involves the Yankees, but don't hold your breath.

Nevertheless, he recently received an education from Betty Fitzwater. (pictured, right)

Betty was mildly upset because I said something negative about the New York Yankees. I'm not sure what it was I said about the Yankees because I say a lot of negative things about the Yankees. But whatever I said, Betty took issue with, and she shared her feelings with me.



"I am 85 years old," Betty said. "I have been a Yankee fan longer than you have been alive. The Yankees are the elite of baseball, whether they win or lose, they are Yankees."

Betty also pointed out -- correctly, I might add -- that there hasn't been a Little League, high school or college baseball player who didn't dream of "wearing pin-stripes and playing in Yankee Stadium."

Betty pointed out that it's not really the team's job to set limits on how much a team can pay its players. That job, she wrote, belongs to Major League Baseball.

Later, in her letter, Betty suggested that the real villains in baseball are the owners of teams like the Kansas City Royals.

"They don't want or intend to win very many games," Betty wrote. "Their so called 'deals' have the smell of an Alaskan salmon."

Don't you just love Betty?

Yes. We do. And she's almost 100 percent right. In fact, KC deals smell like a week-old Alaskan salmon. And she forgot to mention that the Royals are owned by David Glass, former CEO of Wal-Mart, which means the bum has all the money in the world. He just likes the smell of stale salmon.

I wish I could tell Betty that she is wrong. I wish I could tell Betty that she is way off the mark and misinformed, but I can't.

Hey, WTF? I might like this guy.

 What I can tell Betty is that I really don't dislike the Yankees. I dislike the idea of the Yankees. OK, I also dislike the Steinbrenners, but who doesn't?

Maybe no. At the least the Steinbrothers aren't trying to bust unions.


Betty, thanks for the great letter. Your letter will make me think twice before I make fun of the Yankees again. I'll probably still make fun of them, but at least I'll think twice before I do.


And Betty, I hope the Yankees have a good season. I just hope the Cardinals have a better season.

This lady should ride in Gator's car with Yogi.