When the Court Calls Andy Pettitte: The Poem

When the court calls Andy Pettitte,
You best know they won’t regret it.
What the truth is, he’ll have said it.
That’s the truth 'bout Andy Pettitte.

If they call out Chucky Knoblauch,
He will have a hem-and-haw block.
If they call out Roger Clemens,
He will toss them 20 lemons.

If they call up David Justice.
He won’t show; on that, just trust us.
If they bring in Sammy Sosa,
He’ll be drunk on juiced mimosa.

If they call in Barry Bonds,
Be surprised if he responds.
All those stinking Mark McGwires?
We say, "Question them with pliers."

But if they call up Andy Pettitte,
He will go and never sweat it.
Drug abuse? He’d never let it.
That’s the truth 'bout Andy Pettitte.