Friday, February 11, 2011

Last week, Hank Steinbrenner moved into his dad's office in Tampa: 10 items he found

1. Adoption papers from a secret German eugenics lab that birthed two male infant embryos from enhanced DNA of super-genius athletes.

2. A scrap of paper listing Howard Spira's phone number.

3. "Mr. Lupica" stress-reduction pin-cushion doll.

4. Pound of human flesh in zip-locked bag marked "Brian."

5. Previously unknown stash of 1990s death metal band DVDs.

6. Photograph of Bud Selig snorting coke from unidentified woman's stomach.

7. Console featuring large red button, marked "FIRE MGR."

8. Magic 8-ball.

9. Closet portal to Hell.

10. Sled inscribed with name "Rosebud."
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2 comments:

  1. AnonymousFebruary 11, 2011 at 9:32 AM

    What ? No shoebox full of pinky fingers collected from suddenly former team scouts ?

    Also, can we plase have a post featuring LiLo's tightie-whitie dress ? Don't care about the words.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Joe De PastryFebruary 11, 2011 at 10:30 AM

    I never thought about it before, but the Citizen Kane reference really fits. Somebody should make a "Citizen George" movie.

    ReplyDelete

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