Yankeetorial: Jesus hath chosen His people; will we betray Him?

Jesus Montero hath seen the lepers, the outcasts, the downtrodden -- (folks, that's you and me, condemned by the righteous hypocrites to a third place finish in 2011) -- and he hath madeth his choice.

"I want to be with the Yankees," he told the New York Post yesterday. "I want to stay with the Yankees my whole career."

Amen.

Now comes the hard part: Faith... Faith and patience. Because the long term future of the New York Yankees hangs in the balance, and its name is not Gary Sanchez or Cito Culver. Its name is Jesus.

Two consensus opinions have emerged about Jesus Montero among sportswriters and scouts: 1) Jesus will suck behind the plate and tower above it with the bat, and 2) the Yankees will trade him for a starting pitcher.

Both points hinge on their views about the team's faith and patience. They think, in both cases, we have none.

Last year, despite withering screams throughout the blogosphere, we played Brett Gardner in LF, and he proved himself. This year, we look to Ivan Nova. And around August, Jesus -- if he has not been betrayed by the cash men -- can launch a new era with the Yankees.

The old guard is coming to an end.

It is time for each of us declare ourselves for Jesus. 

Get down on your knees. All of you. Yes, you. Now, repeat after me:

Our prospect, who art in Tampa, hallowed by thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy options will be done, on Earth, as it is in Scranton. Give us our daily at bats, and forgive us our press passes. For thine is the kingdom, the power and the other three tools, which are poorly evaluated in most sporting digests, forever and ever. Amen.