Friday, April 29, 2011

Hallelujah! The NFL draft runs three nights in primetime, so we can watch six hours of commercial crapola in the middle of a labor dispute

Seriously, are we that stupid? Are fans that brain dead? (Granted: The scoreboard says clap, so we clap.) But really... really... watch two nights of primetime TV... devoted to the late rounds of the NFL draft? This is drama and excitement three notches below a game show run by Bob Barker (Who, by the way, is dying! Go to your grocery check-out counter right now, if you don't believe me!) This is worse than the Golden Globes. For news events like this, humankind invented Chuck Barris.

The draft. Shoot me. Worst part is these breathless clowns who flitter about in complete denial of the fact that owners and players are in a mudwrestling dispute that, in comparison, would make Alfred E. Newman vs. Homer Simpson look like the Lincoln-Douglas debates. That's right, folks -- it's THE LOCKOUTS vs. THE HOLDOUTS. Who will win? Should we care? And we're supposed to watch? We're supposed to validate this criminal greed-fest?

Yeeesh. We get on Bud Selig's case a lot. (As well we should.) But this crap makes the MLB All-Star Home Run Derby look like the last episode of MASH. Where's that show where the washed-up celebrities relive their ghost experiences? At least that show has a little taste and integrity, while they trade remembrances of their favorite aunt for a last snatch of network face-time. (And mark my words: Sometime soon, somebody's going to see a ghostly vision of Bob Barker!)

Screw the NFL. Turnabout is fair play. No?
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4 comments:

  1. StangApril 29, 2011 at 9:37 PM

    BOB BARKER IS NOT DYING.

    I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bob Barker's Bed PanApril 29, 2011 at 11:14 PM

    watching the draft might have been better than seeing the captain strike out with the bases loaded

    ReplyDelete
  3. A. RandApril 30, 2011 at 4:01 PM

    There are no villains here.

    ReplyDelete
  4. TomMay 1, 2011 at 5:50 PM

    Bob's not dying. The tabloids have been using the "sad last days" sthick concerning Bob for a few years now-On the cover Bob is photographed with a bandage on his hand so the tabloids want you to think he's dying when all that occurred was a scratch wound.

    ReplyDelete

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