The Hunting of the Wockenfussy

With the Pinstripes now ensconced on top of the division, we have the leisure to reflect on the history and lore of the National PastimeTM. Johnny Wockenfuss was drafted in the 42d round of the 1967 draft by the Washington Senators. From this inauspicious beginning, he made it to the bigs as a backup catcher and utility infielder with the Tigers and Phillies. Sparky Anderson said of him, "Problem with Wockenfuss getting on base is that it takes three doubles to score him."

And yet, noble fan-favorite Johnny Wockenfuss has inspired a strikeout poem that stands alongside "Casey at the Bat":

Wockenfussy
by Patrick Dubuque

‘Twas octval, and the pravish thrim
Did glate and glibble in the grome
All woolsy were the vitrenim
As the tegris wrast bethrome.

“Beware the Wockenfuss, my son!
The glove that claws, the cleats that slash!
Beware the corn-can-cut, and shun
The pronvistle mustache!”

He took the vorpal orb in hand:
Seeking with nails the laven stitch
And scrying he the fingers three
He gathered up to pitch.

A sinewed serpent’s coil, it stood
The Wockenfuss, with legs askew
It wiffled and glaved the winding wood
And ellipsed, as he threw.

One, two! And three! No contact he
The knuckleball went snicker-snack!
It spun in place, and in disgrace
It went galumphing back.

“Thou hast slain the Wockenfuss?
Hand me the sphere, my roogish gent.
Callooh! Callay! That’s all today.”
And to the showers he went.

‘Twas octval, and the pravish thrim
Did glate and gliddle in the grome
All woolsy were the vetrinem
As the tegris wrast bethrome.

Patrick Dubuque writes the blog The Playful Utopia.

Your inspirational poem of the day. Featured today on Bardball.com.