Knowing Millwood is on the way, Yank woods explode against tough Chisox

Last night, Kate wasn't the only one taking her final Calgon Beauty Bath in the minors. Wily vet Kevin Millwood was fanning four Charlottians -- including former prospect Lastings Millege! -- over two painfully long innings down in Scrantown.

KM. Kate Middleton. Kevin Millwood. Coincidence?

THERE ARE NO COINCIDENCES.

Today, Yankee fieldmaster Joey G and superbrain Cashman are looking at a bizarre bomber rotation: Sabathia, Burnett, Nova, Garcia, Colon... Our best pitchers have been the last two.

But none will lose their job to Millwood. He would replace Buddy Carlyle or the Pendleton guy -- (let's call them Buddy Pendleton.) Sure, we all love no-name underdogs. But which of the three is most likely to stick?

Last night, in the Daily News fifth, Mark Findspam suggested that the Millman is hardly impressing the scouts of Scranton. Of course, he isn't. Nobody looks good when he surrenders 6 runs in two innings.

But write this down:
It's a gawdawful, gadamm long season, gadamnit. Phil Hughes might not throw another pitch. Colon and Garcia are not Koufax and Drysdale. Sori might be a bust, Joba is still Joba, and Buddy Pendleton is not the Bridge. We need arms. We need bodies. We need guile. Like it or not, we need to take a flier on Millwood. Yep, maybe he's done. But maybe he's not. We need to roll those dice. This pitching staff is on thin ice.

Tonight, Kate Middleton will be closing her eyes and thinking of England.

Tonight, the Yankiverse must close its eyes and think of Millwood.