Tuesday, May 17, 2011

If You Watched, After I Told You Not To, You Are Likely Dead Now Or Severely Injured.

So stop torturing yourself.

And us.

The team has a dead disease and it can be transmitted through the airwaves.

My cousin is yelling at me, " Tell them not to listen either!!! "

Do you want to swing and miss?

Do you want to be doomed to uncontrollably spit seeds 24/7, even at intimate moments?

Don't watch. Don't listen.

Nevermore.

6 comments:

  1. Alphonso, you are barking up the wrong tree. The Yankees right now are like video of that tidal wave in Japan. It is impossible NOT to watch.

    ReplyDelete
  2. One more loss and you will see a change in attitude.

    ReplyDelete
  3. your attitude or the Yanks?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Listen to Black Velvet Dr. Doom!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Everybody's pointing fingers in the wrong directions. I'll tell you whose to blame for our troubles:
    1. Curtis Granderson. Every time he does something sort of Grandish, that's it, we don't score any more runs for the rest of the game. Solution: Girardi's got to tell him "make sure you don't hit any homers, like bunt or just leave your bat on your shoulder to try to get a walk, until your last at bat in the 8th or 9th inning."
    2. Obama/Osama. Here's the proof:
    Bin Laden alive, Yankees 16-9;
    Bin Laden dead, Yankees 4-10.
    Solution: Obama's got to order those Seals to dive in the ocean and bring back the old bastard's body. Then turn the carcass over to the doc who fixed Colon for a treatment with stem cells, HGH, and LSD to resurrect him. Hang him high by his thumbs from the facade of the Stadium with a sign around his neck saying "Hit SOB, win suit from Abe Stark."

    P.S. Sarah,
    I thought you were going to cook breakfast before you left. I lost your number; call me.
    "Slow-Hand" Joe.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Dear Joe
    If Sarah doesn't call, get in touch with me. You sound like a real stud. I'll make you forget that I'm a Sox fan.

    ReplyDelete

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