Super '27 Redsocks lose home field advantage in World Series

After last night's bizarre venture into the rudderless mind of Tim McCarver, the Battlin' Beantown Nation wakes up today knowing it shall not open the 2011 World Series in Fenway. Of course, on the bright side, the Matt Damon side, Boston will be home when they complete the four game sweep.

And whom can they thank? As usual, Brian Cashman! He traded National League winning pitcher Tyler "The Yankee" Clippard to Washington for Jonathan "The Jessica" Albaladejo, straight-up, like swapping an Eddie Rabbit CD for a Springsteen vinyl in a Ramada parking lot Sunday morning flea market. Oh well. The scouting gods giveth and taketh away. We did sign Bartolo Colon for a bucket of fried chicken, and the Bartman has far-exceeded his "sell-by" date. We cannot complain forever.

UPDATE: On second reflection, we're Yankee fans. We CAN complain forever.

But back to the plight of the Superteam. They must now beat Doc Halladay and Cliff Lee in Philadelphia - unless of course, the Mets win it. Wait I - Hahahahahahhaha. I'm sorry. Sometimes writing humor, you cannot hahahahaha help yourself.

UPDATE: Hahahahahahaha. OK, I'm done. Let's figure Boston throws Glenn Beck in game one and Lester Bangs in the followup. That leaves Elbow Macaroni Lackey to start game three at Fenway. Also, that will be Big Papi's first game, having no DH in Philadelphia, so MLB will have waited to spotlight his props - kids, I mean, kids -  (Awww, weren't they cute? I figured if he had a girl, she'd be shaped like a melon with  a less conservatively trimmed beard, but hey, she's worth $10 million, so I say, close your eyes and think of the yacht, male suitors.)

As for the loss, let's just be glad Derek Jeter didn't have to sit through it. Let's face it. He was celebrating his 3,000th something else, a pinacle heretofore only achieved by the likes of Wilt Chamberlain and maybe Charlie Sheen. And whom do we have to blame? Cashman, of course. (Good grief: I just reread this. I'm rambling like Tim McCarver. Where was I? Oh yes, why do they want to take away our rights to buy old lightbulbs? Can't somebody do something...!)