10 impacts Jesus will have on the Yankees

1. Home runs measured in cubits.

2. Stadium clubhouse retrofitted into floating ark.

3. Jesus' dad to watch from special box.

4. On deck circle to be bottomless pool of water.

5. Hotdogs served with loaves and fishes.

6. Girardi nicknamed "the Pontius Pilot."

7. Tears flow during bleachers roll call.

8. New team mascot: Bildad the Shubite.

9. Big brawl with any player named Allah.

10. Circumcision Night. (Must be over age 14.)