John's WinWarble last night: 6.90 seconds

He bolted from the starter's gate like a young colt, calling "STRIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE THREE," but not even taking his customary weightlifter's huff. His "BALLGAME OVER," preamble sounds heartfelt, energetic. But then he overshouts "YANKEES WIN," and at this point, I thought he might have thrown too many pitches. I was wrong. John holds steady and unleashes the season's most powerful "THUH" thus far. It is a work of art. It is the kind of "THUH" that could turn a hurricane back out to sea, or capture a young girl's heart. A truly great thuh.

To be honest, I thought John might nail a 7.0 on this warble. Anything less than 6.40 would have been a major disappointment. But 6.90 is serviceable, major league worthy, and a clear message to Boston fans everywhere that John can still bring the gouda.

We are in first place, and John is throwing 6.90 WinWarbles. Yeah!