Carl Crawford's contract is a parchment of beauty, if you happen to be a fan of devil pact movies

Damn. Boston's eternal suffering has only just begun.

This year, the Craw was paid $14.8 million, the third highest salary on the Redsocks, behind dynamic duo Josh Beckett ($17 m) and John Lackey ($15.9 m).

Next year, he'll take home $20.3 million, ascending to the Satanic status of "Highest Paid Redsock." Poor Beckett is stuck at $17 million through 2014, as is Newt Lackey, at a bargain basement $15.9 m.)

In 2013, the Craw's movie money will rise to $20.8 million. The following year, it will climb to $21.1 million.

It bumps up to $21.3 million in 2015, and finally to $21.6 million in 2016.

As The Master would say, "Isn't that amazing!?"