Sad, pathetic Redsock pitchers in denial about alcoholic lifestyles

No, that wasn't beer being sipped in the Fenway clubhouse by Jon Lester, John Lackey and Josh Beckett during Redsock games last season. It was carrot froth, forfified with vitamins and iron. And it's easy to see why someone could have mistakenly thought the boys were eating fried chicken: The protein bars did look a bit like extra crispy leglets from the Colonel. And surely, somebody noted that they were "hurlers." Still, it's terrible that the cheap, anti-Boston media -- (think ESPN, with its relentless historical hatred for the Redsocks) -- ran with the most venal of lies.

Fortunately, THE TRUTH CANNOT BE SHACKLED FOREVER!

So comes the Candor Cavalry, courtesty of the Fenway Fallguys, the Theo Three, the trinity of the toasted... who someday -- perhaps under hypnosis, for an episode of PBS "Frontline" -- may actually be able to remember the summer of '11. The scapegoated Sweatsocks of September, through their enablers, are setting the record straight:

Josh Beckett: "I did... (hick)... not... umm... drink."

John Lackey: "Iz aw a fuggin farsh, you fuggin hear me? a fuggin farsh. I nev toshed no fuggin beer. "

Jon Lester: "Uhhm, uh-uh. Way a minute, will you shop moving the microphogh?"