This Lance Berkman deal thing is always grinding at me

This is why I absolutely, sincerely, spiritually, and to the sub-atomic level hate surrendering young prospects in trade deadline deals. For us, this one in 2010 was the Trifecta of Trauma.

1. We gave up Mark Melancon and Jimmy Paredes. It hurts to write those names. Melancon saved 20 games last year for the Astros. (I think they won 20 all season.) His ERA was 2.78. He's phukking 26. He pitched in 71 games. Dammit, he could have been our second David Robertson. Meanwhile, Paredes batted .286. He's a utility infielder. Imagine us having two Eduardo Nunezes. Gone. Oh, and did I tell you Paredes' age? HE'S GODDAMM ONLY 22.

2. Berkman stank out the joint for us. Remember how he couldn't bend over to play first base? Then he pulled a McRib? I don't even want to review the bloody details. It hurts too much. We got him during his Britney-shaving-her-head phase.

3. He goes to St. Louis, and he's not only an all-star, but he's on the short list for World Series MVP. You know what he's doing, every time he comes to the plate? He's shoving it down our throats. He's showing us up. He's saying to New York, Youu had me in your harem, Mr. Yankee, but you said I was fat and ugly, well, now I've lost weight, and look at me; look at these big round beauties, old man; they could have been yours.

I. HATE. THESE. DEALS.

But... listen... for the first time in my and your adult live... the Yankees went through an entire season and didn't make one of these wretched transactions. None. Nada. Zip.

Could it be... that the trifecta of the Berkman debacle has a fourth component? As with Einstein's fourth dimension - time - could it be... that the lasting legacy of this horrible event is that we ban them forever from Yankeekind?

Oh, if only it were true...