Yankeetorial: We need to get Kyle Drabek!

I'll never forget the dark, rage-filled day that we peddled his dad, Doug Drabek, for a bucket of fried chicken. There were rumors we would do it, but nobody believed them. The Yankees couldn’t be THAT stupid. We dismissed the rumors as scary stories, you know: like the the babysitter and the maniac phoning from upstairs, or the kids making out in the car while the psycho with the hook scrapes the roof. They tell you those stories to terrify you. So they said, "The Yankees are going to trade Doug Drabek for Rick Rhoden." And we laughed.

Yeah, right.

I remember Doug Drabek as a rookie. He was just like his kid. One day, Doc Halladay. Next day, Doc Ellis. But the Pirates saw something. They traded us the washed up tub of lard, Rhoden, for Drabek and prospects. The rest is history. We sucked for an entire decade.

Well, rumors are that we’re interested in Kyle Drabek. That’s according to a Toronto Gammonite. I figure he's just taunting us – reminding us of what we once did, and what the Blue Jays won't do. In fact, River Ave says no way Toronto would ever trade a 24-year-old prospect to the Yankees. No way.

They’re probably right. But dammit, I would love to get Kyle Drabek. And so would Cashman. We would be the bandits, rather than the hold-up victims. And Cash loves former big prospects. He snagged Wilson Betemit a year too early, but dished him off for Nick Swisher right on time. Remember Greg Golson? First rounder in 2004. Find the guys who wear out their welcome in their first team. In Drabek's case, it won't be just shrewd trading. It'll be karma.