A-Rod to receive enhanced A-Rod blood

An A-Balm for A-Rod? Alexander the Great coagulates again?

Hilarity aside, the idea that Alex is dashing off to Germany, the land of lugers, to get his own re-spun blood squirted into a barking knee - based on the advice of famed microsurgeon Kobe Bryant - doesn't exactly inspire hope for 2012. Why?

a) His knee is bad enough to need it.

b) If A-Rod tries to frootch a fraulein, he'll get his bash bashed in.

c) If the German therapy worked, Bartolo Colon would have already tried it.

There is, however, one hopeful scenario:

The Russian KGB, seeking to plant a spy in America, will kidnap A-Rod and replace him with a younger, highly-trained lookalike. The secret agent will hit .290 with 30 home runs, and send back to his masters at the Kremlin detailed sketches of the great Jeet estate.