Thursday, January 26, 2012

Yankeetorial: Jorge and Bernie both belong in the Hall, dammit, and we don't need self-loathing Yankee fans to say otherwise

Jorge Posada and Bernie Williams don't have cartoonish, Wilt-Chamberlain-v-Knicks-like career numbers. But you know what they do got? Rings. Eleven of them. You gotta take off a boot to count.

They don't have MVP awards. All they did was work the middle of the greatest dynasty in baseball history.

Yep. No misprint. Greatest. Dynasty. History.

How dareth me to speaketh such Stigyan bullsheth? What of the Big Red Machine? Oakland? Babe and Lou, Mick and Rog, Thurm and Reggie? The Beatles!

Great clubs, yep. None had to win three rounds of playoffs. Since the dawn of the October-long postseason, only one team has won four out of five rings. Bernie and Jorge. Nobody else comes close. That is flat-out greatness. You hear? The kind of domination exercized by Liz Taylor over donuts. They did it.

But get this: Unless you self-loathing Yankee fans out there get off your stubbled, Pete-Gammons-exploded-blue-nostril-colored butts, and quit swallowing the media cud hawked up by the ESPN anti-Yankee hate machine, the greatest team ever will barely rate a garlic fart in the Hall of Fame.

That's right, comrades. Jorge and Bernie fought for us. Will we fight for them? If no, then who will? The sportswriters? Get real. They're self-pleasuring literary poohbahs, too important to play favorites. They'll tout the career numbers of some unsung KC Royal who never sucked in the playoffs because his team never made them... while Bernie and Jorge were winning rings.

OK, I know what you're thinking: But Duque, they don't have the numbers of Carl Bumwickle of the Marlins, and since Carl isn't in the Hall, they shouldn't make it either, wah-wah-wah. And everybody says there are too many Yankees in the Hall, so we should keep quiet, and maybe people will start liking us, wah-wah-wah. Oh, I wish I were a Mets fan, so everybody would feel sorry for me, wah-wah-wah...

Listen, you delusional, Phillie-hearted, rubber-kneed guilt-lapping pugs, Yankee fans have to stop hating themselves for supporting the richest team in baseball, and we have to start fighting for our troops on the ground.
BERNIE FOR THE HALL.
JORGE FOR THE HALL.
GREATEST TEAM EVER... PUT THEM ON THE WALL.

3 comments:

  1. 11 rings? I count nine.
    Bernie: 96, 98, 99, 00
    Jorge: 96 (did he get one? he only had 14 at bats), 98, 99, 00 and 09
    what am I missing?
    Otherwise, your premise is correct and worthy of a Yankee-fan blitzkrieg of the HoF voters. Bernie and Jorge, the greatest Puerto Ricans in Yankee history, to the Hall!

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  2. Um... Dont use your "math" on me. This isnt a presidential campaign. I was on a roll.

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  3. They'll end up keeping Bernie and Jorge out and Chipper Jones will get in because he was better in May. But who do YOU want in the bottom of the ninth in Game 1 of the ALCS against Randy Myers? Or bottom of the 8th in Game 7 of the 2003 ALCS against Pedro Martinez?

    I sure as hell don't want Chipper Jones. I might take John Lackey though...

    ReplyDelete

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