Yankeetorial: Ryan Braun lawyers up and beats the rap that Arod took full tilt

Yesterday, the scum-sucking lawyers for Ryan Braun won his appeal of MLB's drug testing protocols, effectively scotching Bud Selig's future chances to police the sport/industry for green gamma rays, unstable molecules, radioactive spider-bites and the superjuice that created Captain America. They attacked the chain of custody surrounding Braun's urine, suggesting that somebody tampered with it - (Arod, maybe?) - creating just enough doubt to clear Braun, or should we say "put him in The Clear."

Fine. OK. So be it. But I wonder how the Gammonites would react to such a move if it involved Arod or Giambi - or any Yankee for that matter - rather than a college-Hollywood-golden boy from Milwaukee. Actually, it's not hard to imagine what they would say. Look at the way the Republican Presidential candidates describe anything done by Obama. That's how the sportswriters would be wailing, if only they could get Arod in their crosshairs.

Remember how indignant they were several years ago, when Arod was the victim of an actual conspiracy: Somebody leaked (no pun intended) the results of his drug tests, which had been taken along with hundreds of other under the full guarantee of secrecy. His were made public. Why? Because he's Arod. That's why. All the others who failed their drug tests - think: Milwaukee Brewers, etc. -- stayed secret. They set up a dungeon and waited for Alex to appear in camp, where he apologized, and they each could render their all-consuming eternal judgment. Some sportwriters will say Alex will never make the Hall of Fame because of the taint of performance enhancing drugs.

But Ryan Braun and his lawyers can walk in the front door. He's off the hook. He can look into the camera and swear to God that he never used PEDs, and that he was the victim of a conspiracy.

Sweet, eh?