And evil shall fear... the "Z" that stands for "Zolio"

Zolio Almonte. (Not related to Abraham, another OF named Almonte in the Yankee system.)
In the "exhibition" exhibition game against the raging Bulls of South F-U, Zolio homered and went 2-2. Now... check dis out:

That's right. In the year 2012, Zolio "The Portfolio" Almonte is 5 for 5, batting a crisp 1.000.

Who is this mystery man? He's 21. He signed out of the D.R. as a stud prospect - they all do - then got lost in the shuffle for four seasons. Last year, something happened. He learned not to swing at pitches that would be marginal in Wilt Chamberlain's strike zone. This year, he'll probably start at Trenton, which means he could knock on the door last spring.

The official Gammonite line is that we have no top position prospects above Charleston. Thus, we hoard the Chris Dickersons and Mookie Blaylocks of creation, using them the way stoners use pipecleaners. But now and then, a kid changes the equation. If Zolio is that kid... if he has truly turned the corner... hmmmm...
Let's do something, something we never do at IT IS HIGH:

Let's do a CIA-experiment in LSD-induced optimism speculation. The title: WHAT IF ZOLIO ALMONTE BREAKS OUT IN 2012.

OK, we're saying he hammers Trenton through June 1 - 15 HR and .335 - (Melky Cabrera numbers) - flagged by Sherman/Madden/RiversAve/LoHud and even SuperFrankenstein. They move him up to the Traveling Wilkes Barres, and he keeps hitting. That means he is the jewel of our system at the trade deadline.
But unlike past jewels (we're talking to you, Jesus), we would have a future place in the lineup for Zolio: Corner outfield. Cashman could let Nick Swisher leave next winter, or trade Brett Gardner in the off-season. A highly rated rookie OF could signal a new Yankee era, because at some point soon, we must move rookies onto the field. We punted on Jesus. The infield is uncrackable. But the outfield always has an opening.

So, he's either our ticket to a solid pitcher this July. Or the dawn of a new age!

Awwww, phuckit. He's probably just another Bronson Sardinha. But hell, it's March. Screw reality. Five for five, baby! Five for five!