Thursday, April 26, 2012

Cashman Press Conference Vows Future Allegiance To Yankee Prospects

There is a lot of rhetoric going about concerning some recent decisions made by the Yankee high command.

So Brian Cashman, after a quick visit to his lady friend in Rikers, stopped by St Patrick's for a unique kind of press conference.  He made his confession to a high holy man:

Brian:  "Bless me father for I HAVE SINNED."

Father :  "I know, Brian, you were just over visiting that bimbo at Rikers, right?"

Brian:    " Yes father.  She is a real bitch and I am cutting my ties with her."

Father  ;  "Six hail mary's and four rosaries ought to take care of that one. But why are you really here?"

Brian:  "I want to be forgiven for trading Jesus for a cripple. "

Father :  " I can give you credit for the cripple, but you aren't really asking me to forgive you for trading
                 Jesus, are you?"

Brian:  "  Well, I thought you could forgive anything as long as I confessed to the sin."

Father:  " No one has ever traded Jesus and received nothing in return before.  We don't have a rule on that."

Brian;  " I want everyone to know something.  I want to say here today, before your grace and all the
               observing arch-angels and portraits of Mary and the holy ghost, that I will never again, ever,
               trade well-regarded, developing young Yankee prospect to anyone for anyone. "

Father :  " You are a lying twit.  You are going to Hell. "

Amen.
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3 comments:

  1. bennyboyApril 26, 2012 at 3:08 PM

    "There came a day when King Cashman saw Micahel Pineda bathing. He knew that he was betrothed to Jesus, but he could not bear his temptation. He took Pineda, sacrificing Jesus to do so.

    This angered the Lord, who sent his prophet, Alphonso, to the King. Alphonso sayeth to him:

    'You took from the Yankee fan their one lamb. Now the Lord is angry, and he shall punish thee by taking Pineda from you.'

    The King fasted for weeks, begging for the Lord's forgiveness. But the Lord, who hath grown wary of the King's foolish trades, turned His back on him. And so, as Alphonso predicted, Pineda died.

    After Pineda died, the King was seen feasting with his Riker's Woman. When Alphonso questioned why he was so happy, the King said:

    'I begged the Lord for Pineda, but He took him from me. I shall go to Pineda one day, but he shall never come to me.'" Alphonso 6:32

    ReplyDelete
  2. Phil AchtkApril 27, 2012 at 12:03 AM

    are you and Mustang one and the same?
    If not, you are equally talentless.
    Leave the creative stuff to Alphonso and El Duque.

    ReplyDelete
  3. bennyboyApril 27, 2012 at 1:24 PM

    Is this your way of telling me you didn't like my story Phil? Don't beat around the bush. I can take it.

    ReplyDelete

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