Friends, Buddy Roemers, countrypersons... brothers and sisters... saints and sinners... huddled masses... people who watch Dancing With the Stars... Yankee fans EVERYWHERE... YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
We. Have. Reached. Critical. Mass.
Tonight -- YEAH, GADAMMIT, TONIGHT! - Yankee fans across America must salvage our rapidly dying 2012 season... We must unite to rescue the struggling Arod, Teixeira, et al, from the downward spiraling sewer-trough into which the Girardi Jurassics have plunged. TONIGHT.
TONIGHT, IT IS TIME TO TAKE OFF THE GLOVES.
IT IS TIME TO CHANGE THE YANKEE WORLD.
IT IS TIME TO CHARGE THE MOUND!
In the bottom of the 2nd inning, each self-respecting Yankee fan must rush from the farthest sections of our home directly to the TV, radio or Yankee lodestone, letting no Redsock fan, spouse, beagle or child compromise your victory tromp path, and send forth whatever juju you possess to the Yankee cause. YEAH, OPHELIA, GADAMMIT, GET THEE TO THE NUNNERY! It's time for a Yankee Juju Intervention.
PASS THE WORD! LINK TO THIS STORY! GAS UP THE SOUNDTRUCK! CALL YOUR BONDSMAN! WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!
EVERY YANKEE MAN, WOMAN AND CHILD MUST PARTICIPATE.
THIS IS A NATIONAL YANKEE EMERGENCY. NOT SURE WHAT TO DO? WATCH THIS INSTRUCTIONAL MANUAL.
TONIGHT, THE 2012 SEASON - THUS FAR, A SEASON OF YANKEE HELL - CHANGES.
TONIGHT, THE YANKEES WIN, THUUUUUUUUUH YANKEES WIN.
TONIGHT, WE SHOW THE WORLD THAT THE YANKIVERSE WILL NOT SURRENDER.
TONIGHT. WE. CHANGE. THIS. SEASON.
"The end of time shall be marked by acts of unfathomable compassion."
- Dostoyevsky -
"The end of a season really pisses me off."
- Alphonso -
Anything we fans who will be at the Stadium tonight can do? Apart from eating $15 steak sandwiches and $14 meatball parm sandwiches?
ReplyDeleteWatch for the swirling cloud overhead. Stay out of the disco lounge. Those people will fry.
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