Dammit, how did we lose those four games?

Twenty-four straight,

That's where we would be,

If only the Yankees

Had listened to me.

Back against the Angels,

I told my TV,

"Dammit, take out Phil Hughes!

"He's just throwing BP!

But nobody listened,

We lost nine to eight.

If I ran this team,

We'd have twenty four straight.

Then that loss to Dan Haren,

I'd play a new card.

I would have walked Pujols

So he couldn't go yard.

When the bases were loaded,

No hits to be found.

I'd have played Jason Nix!

We'd have bunted around.

And the loss in Detroit

When Valverde collapsed,

We swung at his pitches,

At home, I just gasped.

"Dammit, stand there and walk!

"The guy can't throw a strike."

But nobody listened,

They'd shut off my mike.

Worst, that game against Tampa!

We had Price in a rout,

The damn bases were loaded

And then A-Rod struck out.

He drew out 10 pitches,

Fouled off at least four,

I screamed at the TV:

"Don't swing anymore!"

But he didn't listen,

He waved at strike three,

It would be ball four,

If he listened to me.

Twenty-four straight,

An impossible dream?

Not if my TV

Went straight to the team.

We'd go undefeated,

I'd not feel such a grouch,

If I just ran the Yanks

From my living room couch.