Monday, July 2, 2012

10 elements of the Tom Cruise/Kate Holmes break-up that John Sterling, being the craftsman that he is, could segue into radio ads

1. Tonight, there’s one less family that’s safe and secure…

2. That last divorce paper came in at 95 miles per hour…

3. It’s time for a Little Suri Snack Cake…

4. I’ve been to Tom and Katie’s home. It’s like a college campus!

5. This is the 15th lawyer of the proceedings...

6. If, like their marriage, you or a loved one suffers from lung cancer or mesothelioma, call 1-800-MESOLAW…

7. This call to the lawyers is brought to you by Honda…

8. Tom has painting the corner with irreconcilable differences. And painting the corner is sponsored by Certa Pro Painters…

9. Obviously, there were flare ups. And the temperatures are sponsored by Peerless Boiler…

10. Tom and Katie will meet in court. This is the Rally Moment of the Divorce…
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3 comments:

  1. AlphonsoJuly 2, 2012 at 9:36 AM

    But is the bimbo remaining a " scientologist?"

    ReplyDelete
  2. dave lettermanJuly 2, 2012 at 10:40 AM

    that's in the top ten of posts for the year.
    tell your agent to call my producer.
    I want you on my show.

    ReplyDelete
  3. jarndyceJuly 3, 2012 at 3:44 PM

    A married couple with little kids getting divorced = tragedy.
    A famous married couple with little kids getting divorced = comedy?

    ReplyDelete

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