He becomes an American citizen,
and the first thing he does is declare
FREEDOM OF FACIAL HAIR.
Dammit, he's right.
The Yankees must end the repressive,
1890s ban on facial furniture,
lip thistle, chin hemp or scalp shrubbery.
It is 2012.
It will soon be 2013.
NO MUSTACHE, NO PEACE.
NO MUSTACHE, NO PEACE.
WHAT DO WE WANT?
END TO YANKEE FACIAL HAIR BAN.
WHEN DO WE WANT IT?
NOW.
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