Check out this classic paragraph from Richard Sandomir in today's Times. It concerns Rupert Murdoch buying YES, and the potential impact it could have on the network's pro-Yankee slant.
Fox will, of course, bring some of its programming to YES. That was one
reason to make the deal. It needs a New York outpost, especially as it
starts a national sports network that is, for now, called Fox Sports 1.
But tinker with the propaganda? Never.
Wait a minute. I hadn't thought of this: Fox buying the Yankee network, and suddenly forcing it to change its ways and become a completely unbiased news source. Wow. Hold on for a second. I gotta wrap my head around this for a while. I need to put my head in an ice bucket.
OK, I'm better now.
Fox buying YES, and forcing the channel to become unbiased. Hey, mathematically, it could happen. Put two negatives together, and you get a positive. Add Fox's bias to YES's bias, and theoretically, you would create two rapidly spinning particles that could repel each other: It could spin so far in favor of the Yankees that it becomes Alphonso after a loss - the network becomes furious, vengeful, livid - when the Yankees lose.
Think about this, world: If you add Fox bias to YES bias - it's like Arnold Schwarzenegger breeding with Dolly Parton; it's like Mariano's cutter merging with Dickey's knuckler; it's like the Perfect Storm (except we don't have a third component) -- mark my words, you are tampering with a nuclear spinning device.
This is what the Mayans warned us about. This is what NASA found on Mars. This is why Naomi Campbell beats chauffeurs. I am scared. Where is that bucket of ice water?
Consider Hawk "he gone" Harrelson and Chip "Jesus played for the Braves" Caray. WGN & TBS long ago lost touch with objectivity. If YES is biased, it's comparatively subtle. Ken Singleton and Michael Kay go out of their way to acknowledge the accomplishments of other teams (even the Roid Sox). For argument's sake, let us assume Rupert pressures the commentators to slant their commentary in the Fox style. He'd better not try that when Lou Piniella and Paul O'Neill are the color commentators, or those Fox producers will end up like the 7,481 water coolers destroyed by the above-mentioned pair during their respective MLB careers. That has got to be the best broadcast tandem in sports: O'Neill and Piniella. Those two scrappers fly monthly to Kabul to beat up members of the Taliban just to stay in shape and keep their attitudes sharp. Good luck, Rupert. You ain't no match for Sweet Lou.
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Translation programs still have a long way to go.
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