After Ichiro... the all-lefty outifield?

About 10 years ago, several people drowned after a terrible boating accident in the Adirondacks. A group of senior citizens went out in a flat-bottom tour boat during choppy waters.  Apparently, a bunch of them shifted to one side simultaneously, and the boat just went over. No joke. Huge tragedy.

That accident comes to mind when I think of the Yankee batting order.

Supposedly, we're about to sign Ichiro to a one-year deal. This speaks volumes to what it must be like to spend your entire career in Seattle. Think about it: After experiencing a rather pungent stint in NYC, a future Hall of Famer - at age 39 - still accepts a one-year deal. Wow. Remind me to never play for the Mariners.

Anyway, we can't slit our wrists about Ichiro returning, especially if he's the last star in MLB to accept a cut to play for us. He might hit 25 HR with that jerky swing, though 25 walks seems impossible. He could hit .290, though a .320 OBP seems impossible. But then there is the boat filled with senior citizens. It is listing leftward.

Our OF would stand as Ichiro, Gardner and Grandyman. Three lefties. When we face David Price, good luck, everybody: He has only to face RH Jete and maybe Youk, (if everybody holds his nose and he signs.) Tex doesn't count; he goes both ways. Cervelli doesn't count; he doesn't hit.

Who'll scare them from the right side?
We don't ev'n have Eli Whiteside...

It's hard to imagine Cashman going to spring training with the Yankees upside down and elders splashing in the water. But every time another free agent goes off the board, while we sit on our wallet, it becomes clear that the organization is chasing not a pennant but a payroll figure.

The Yankees are not looking for a 2013 World Series ring. They are looking for a $189 million bottom line next winter.

For better or worse - and we experienced worse - we were always the franchise that bucked the mold: The Yankee ownership played to win.

We have everybody signed for a year and Grandyman on the block. Everywhere, you hear the sound of splashing. Grab the inflatables, everybody. That water is cold.