Thursday, December 20, 2012
TAYLOR SWIFT'S PAGE SIX CELEBRITY UPDATE FOR DOOMSDAY
(SPECIAL TO PAGE SIX) She's never getting back together - with
anybody. Sweet and tender super-songbird Taylor Swift showed off spectacularly
slender drumsticks Friday, as she led photographers on a picking tour of
convenience store dumpsters, barely a guitar solo from Malibu. Staying rail thin
not only maintains Taylor's angular form, but it's a
major reason why the country singer hasn't been devoured by
ravenous hordes. We suspect she's one homespun dish the cannibals
would rather see in a tasseled skirt than fry pan. Friends say the
Grammy-winning nightingale has sworn off relationships, since her last beau
tried to chop off her left arm. Taylor is reportedly heading into the studio
with a bellyful of song ideas - and canned food. No teardrops on
this guitar, and no soy sauce, either!
wat.
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