“John had no guile. He didn’t understand it when people were mean to him because he could never be mean to anybody."—Suzyn Waldman
Thursday, December 20, 2012
TAYLOR SWIFT'S PAGE SIX CELEBRITY UPDATE FOR DOOMSDAY
(SPECIAL TO PAGE SIX) She's never getting back together - with
anybody. Sweet and tender super-songbird Taylor Swift showed off spectacularly
slender drumsticks Friday, as she led photographers on a picking tour of
convenience store dumpsters, barely a guitar solo from Malibu. Staying rail thin
not only maintains Taylor's angular form, but it's a
major reason why the country singer hasn't been devoured by
ravenous hordes. We suspect she's one homespun dish the cannibals
would rather see in a tasseled skirt than fry pan. Friends say the
Grammy-winning nightingale has sworn off relationships, since her last beau
tried to chop off her left arm. Taylor is reportedly heading into the studio
with a bellyful of song ideas - and canned food. No teardrops on
this guitar, and no soy sauce, either!

wat.
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