Early this week, with the Eve-Emps on the verge of elimination from the 2013 AL pennant race, we pondered orchestrating a worldwide juju relief mission of mercy - an intervention known by some as "charging the mound."
Well, it worked. The Yankees are 3-1, baby, three-and-one, since we mentioned the - um - thing. We're not going to burst our britches on this, because everybody knows if you start touting your juju, that's how you mess up your juju.
Still, let's give credit where it's due: The endless refinement Alphonso's juju stance. Normally, he's a carpet-bomber of negativity. This pushes the jujuverse to restore the Yankees. But last week, he made ridiculous happy-talk postings - and then turned around and became brutally negative again. Try to defense that, Coach Madden! We have witnessed the juju equivalents of a perfectly placed bunt down the third base line to break a defensive overshift.
I don't want to beat this dead juju horse. It's April. Sometimes, just mentioning a trip to the woodshed frightens a child into behaving. That's what I think happened. We mentioned the - you know - thing, and the Yankees began to win.
Three and one, baby, three and one! But, obviously, we'll lose today. Juju doesn't exist. Everybody knows that.
I tried it myself and am personally responsible for a very nice 2-out RBI. For fear of disturbing my Juju bosons, I shall not divulge the exact incident, nor how the Juju was administered. I plan to use my new-found power several times this season but only during key inflection points. With so much power comes responsibility.
ReplyDeleteWe need to save some for Fenway.
ReplyDeleteNot to worry. Have live chickens prepared for sacrifice for Fenway series. Have urinated on autographed photo of Carl Yastrzemski, placing JuJu on Pedroia's willy so that he wets himself on the field. Heh heh heh.
ReplyDeleteJust got a text message from the Yankee batboy. He claims that someone on the team has been putting Alphonso's posts on the lockerroom bulletin board. The ballplayers, especially the new ones, are inspired by Alphonso's confidence in their ability. Up to that point, these guys figured that only Suzyn and I were rooting for them. Talk is that if the Alphonso-inspired winning streak continues Girardi will let him DH for one at-bat in the next laugher. Hope Alphonso doesn't have to face Carrasco.
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