Along with being Food Allergy Awareness Month, May is the traditional time of Yankee pain

As Cher once sang, you better sit down, kids. It's May. It's that glowing red glob of radar on the Yankee weather map, bearing down on NY - it's the month of the TJ Beams and Darrell Rasners - the time of imminent collapse. We started this blog long ago in a May when the wheels seemed to be rolling disconnected, and The Master's WinWarbles occasionally sounded like Alvin the Chipmunk on helium. It's May - watch not only what you eat, but who you root for.

May is the month when Bobby Abreu couldn't even draw walks, and Jeter sputtered for a week without a base hit. This is when a Yankee team that comes to spring training with nine starting pitchers ends up with an emergency promotion of Sean Henn. Now how should I put this/I've got something to say/Your mother is staying
But I'm going away.

Last May, we were 14-14.

In May 2010, we were 12-14.

Aside from October, cruel for its finality, May is the month of Yankee pain. And this one looms on the horizon like the surgically disconfigured face of Cher.
 1. Curtis Granderson will return. But which Grandyman will we see: The 5-tooler who was cagy enough two years ago to adjust his swing for LH pitching? Or the Jack Cust impersonator who crumbled into all-or-nothing mediocrity last October?

2. Chien-Ming Wang will return. Thus far, when we get a quality start, we win. But CC hasn't been himself, Andy got pummeled by the Lastros, Kuroda will cool off - and then what? Well, we have the bowler stashed in Scranton, sitting on a May 31 sell-by date. Who knows what's he got? After him, it's the usual Adam Warrens and DJ Mitchells.

3. Youk will return.  But at what level and for how long? He's looking like a computer with so many viruses the only remedy is to wipe out the hard drive and start over. It's way too early in the year to start depending on epidurals for a bad back. Clearly, they're seeing him as a first-half option, until A-Rod returns. I dunno. They brought in this new guy, Nelson, for a reason. Youk might be a write-off.

4. The Vernons, Lyles and Boesches might return. To form, that is.  Thus far, Wells and Overbay have been wonderful. It's a privilege to root for them. But we've seen the movie, the Andruw Jones Story, where the hero cleans up Dodge City for a month, and then starts swigging free whiskey in the saloon. "I've proven the critics were wrong, so now I'll just start trying to hit HRs.' I'm particularly worried about Wells. These sluggers get homer happy in Yankee Stadium, and something happens to them.

Everybody keeps talking about the All-Star break, when the cavalry is supposed to save us. Well, now comes the real battle. It's May.