Thursday, June 6, 2013

A thirdbaseman, a giant, and a lefty

We drafted three kids in the late late late first round. One is a thirdbaseman from Notre Dame. One is a 6'7" college outfielder, who was supposed to go higher - and one is this fellow, a left-handed high school pitcher named Ian Clarkin.

In the profile of him, shown before the selection, Clarkin described his greatest moment as a fan being the night the Yankees lost to Arizona in the 2001 World Series, because he hates hates hates the Yankees. Oh well. That's how you build a fan base: One at a time.
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5 comments:

  1. AnonymousJune 7, 2013 at 2:38 AM

    At least he didn't say his favorite moment was the 2004 ALCS..who am i kidding? Fuck you Ian Clarkin!

    ReplyDelete
  2. JMJune 7, 2013 at 8:45 AM

    Why did we draft Ian 'Dick' Clarkin? A Yankee hater? Who cherishes the memory of a courageous team in the early days after 9/11, coming back time and again in miraculous fashion, trying to deliver a championship to a wounded and bleeding city, getting beat by a bunch of hired goons?

    Trade him. Now, before anyone realizes what a asshole he is. Or that, more likely, he'll never pitch above AA.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousJune 7, 2013 at 11:18 AM

    Don't worry. Three things will happen in this order:

    1.) while warming up before his first low-A game, he will feel 'something funky in my elbow.' TJ surgey, down a year and a half.

    2.) after recovering from his TJS, and after three dazzling Spring Training outings in 2016, he gets into a bar brawl in Dunedin, Fla with some Blue Jay minor league gangsters. He will break his collarbone and blow out his ACL. Down a year.

    3.) after seeking 'workout advice' from Yankee Great Alex Rodriguez, he is busted for using Pig Cum, which in 2018, is the new deer antler shizzle. He then wrecks his Porsche with a hot, yet hired, lady in the front seat. (Consequently, she later wipes out what little remainder exists of his signing bonus in a civil suit) When he moved home to Vermont to his parents house, hat in hand, one day after a two-foot blizzard, he is outside shoveling when.....

    ReplyDelete
  4. LeinsteryJune 10, 2013 at 3:23 AM

    I'm going to be completely real.

    Get polio Clarkin you micropenis wielding twat. And say get a good look at the killer B's, that's you. Between the never ending stop-gap free agents and the Yankees crippling inability to groom anyone effectively, your career was over yesterday.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AlphonsoJune 10, 2013 at 7:10 AM

    Wasn"t Andy Brown a 6'6" outfielder?

    Wasn't he a number one pick?

    Wasn't he a total washout who never came close to the Bronx?

    This guy better try pitching right now.

    ReplyDelete

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