You can't just shave an ape and call him Graig Nettles: Youkilis was bad juju from the gitgo

The Youk era ended yesterday in a splash of agate. The Retrieval Empire announced that he will undergo back surgery and be out 10-12 weeks. That puts him returning in September, along with half the population of Scranton. By then, we will either have solved our 3B dilemma, or it won't matter.

What possessed us to think you could take the most hated Redsock, shave him and suddenly change him into a Yankee? Apparently, Cashman thought Youkilis was Eliza Doolittle, and that with some Gillette Foamy and fancy new duds, the street urchin could be taught to walk and talk like a real gentleman, and even fool the AL East.

But all anyone saw when Youkilis wandered to the plate was a Redsock goon in a Yankee uniform. He was no Audrey Hepburn. Kristie Alley, maybe. Alphonso never accepted him. And Youk never had a transitional, walk-off moment, when he wins the game and becomes a part of Yankee lore.

Now, he is gone.

Some things were never meant to be. We should ponder that today, when we watch the ever-troubled Don Mattingly manage the wrong team.