Anonymous Yankee: We're Sick of A-Rod's Circus

ARLINGTON, TX––Speaking on the condition of anonymity, an overweight Yankee middle reliever told the New York Daily News that A-Rod’s off-the-field turmoil is a distraction to the struggling, fourth-place ballclub.  

“Guys are just tired of it,” said the fleshy, unidentified 27-year old right-handed Nebraska native, “The media circus that’s revolving around Alex is insane — and we haven’t even seen him. It just keeps going. It’s like a carousel that just keeps going around and around and around. At some point, it has to stop.”

The unnamed thickset hurler, who spent most of May on the disabled list with a right oblique strain, appeared to choke up slightly as he said, “I would like his bat in the lineup. We could obviously use it because the potential for some home runs would help us a lot. But with the circus that’s surrounding him right now, I don’t think anybody wants that.”

“When it’s all said and done, you’ll hear more than enough comments from the guys in here,” the outsized 2005 3rd Team All-American whose own career went down in flames after the front office got the brilliant idea to turn him into a starter said as he wrapped the right ankle he once broke in a trampoline accident while playing with his young son. “But don't use my name.”