All this time, we weren't waiting for Jeter; we were waiting for Minnesota

It's rare to find a competitor who respects you, honors you, and who - in times of desperation - always extends to you the Helping Hand of Friendship. Yes, I'm talking about our heroes from the Iron Range. Hats off to our brothers from Minnesota, the Gopher State!

Too often, we take for granted those who aren't afraid to give more than they receive - players who are not always muttering "Me, me, me...!" - a team of fine fellows like the Twins. And during Hope Week, nobody restores more hope among Yankee fans than this bunch of stalwarts, who I am proud to call our opponent.

In the last 39 games, we are 32 and 7 against Minnesota, and I for one want to express this blessing of thanks:

Boys, while you're in the Big Apple, I hope each of you enjoys himself to the limit - back alley drug deals, late night punk shows, Ecstasy-laced dance raves and, of course, the finest hookers east of Trenton. We need two more games, Minnesota. That's all. Your job is nearly done. And on behalf of the Yankiverse, let me say "Thank you, o, Stars of the North."