Monday, September 9, 2013

I have this recurring nightmare ...

This nightmare isn't stumbling to the end of the season and missing the playoffs. No, this is much worse.

In this nightmare, something-- say, a fluke win on a wild pitch --  gives up hope.

Then, over the last few weeks, the Orioles and Indians play like, well, the Orioles and Indians of years past. The Rays continue to stumble to the finish like they've had too much beer and chicken wings. The Yankees bang enough solo home runs off bad September call-ups to grab some wins over the Blue Jays, and scrape together a few victories over Pawtucket while the redsocks' A team rests up for the real games.

Lo and behold, the Yankees find themselves in Bud Selig's vaunted one-game playoff, where we face the Rangers. Then, against a decent team with something to play for, we're exposed again. CC struggles, Joba's in by the third, Bettances by the fourth and Joe is calling to see if we can't somehow get Nick Swisher back to mop up in the late innings. We're inept on offense, and Soriano somehow finds a way to get picked off at home plate. Jeet, Andy and Mo look on helpless on the bench as the Rangers put up a football score on us and move on to the real postseason.

Then the nightmare really gets going. Hal talks about how the loss was disappointing, but that our "late surge" showed that we were on the right track and a loss in a one-game playoff doesn't change that. He declares the cost-cutting a success, and knows with just a few tweaks we'll be fine next season. We bring back Wells, Soriano and Ichiro, and give Travis Hafner ("in the best shape of his life!") another chance to give us some depth. Mo and Andy say farewell, and we can't afford Kuroda, but Cash and Hal are certain that all those Tommy John surgeries our minor-league pitchers have undergone will pay off and they'll be healed up any day now. Cano costs too much to bring back, but Cash is able to coax Troy Glaus ("in the best shape of his life!") out of retirement. A Rod's status is up the air because of his appeal, but Cashman is trying to trade some prospects for the rights to Phil Nevin ("in the best shape of his life!") or someone of that sort to hold down the fort.

The season is a blur of DL stints, ARod headlines and double-digit losses in a half-empty Stadium. Every few days, someone does a story comparing Jeter's final seasons to Mickey Mantle's. I wake up in a cold sweat just when the Pirates, led by 20-game winners Phil Hughes and A.J. Burnett, are ready to battle the redsocks, led by new closer Joba Chamberlain, in the World Series.

When does hockey start?

5 comments:

  1. Yep. we'll always be only one or two players short of that one game wildcard, or victory in that one game wildcard. This has the potential to kill us for years and years. Unless....

    We give up that crazy notion, spend a season or two in the cellar and rebuild. If the fucking Bosocks can do it, we can do it too. Right?

    or do we need the steinspawn to sell?

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  2. I like that idea. Hal, you still reading this blog? Sell now before you and your brother knock another hundred million off the value of the franchise.

    Any chance we can get an actual manager? After Joe 'The Real Luckiest Guy on the Face of the Earth' Torre and then Joe 'My Little Binder Tells Me So Except When I Want to Ignore It' Girardi (otherwise knowns as Joe 'If I Work Out Just a Couple More Hours Every Day and Keep Shaving My Head Maybe the Voices Will Stop' Girardi), I'm ready for a guy like, oh, I dunno, Mattingly. He'd never be dumb enough to come back to this situation, but somebody like him would be fine.

    How's Yogi doing these days?

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  3. Lou Piniella! With Paul O'Neill as his bench coach. Imagine the brawls.

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  4. Making the playoffs always trumps missing it. It's a small sample size and anything can happen. This team now has the offense to hang with the big boys. The Stein Bros. couldn't handle a true rebuild if their lives depended on it. This team, as it has done for the last few decades needs to go year by year.

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  5. Hockey starts in October, and we will be able to give it our undivided attention.

    ReplyDelete

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