Yanks to keep Oppenheimer, "the Father of the Bomb."

According to the Daily News, the Steinbrothers plan to keep scouting director Damon Oppenheimer, architect of the current surge of hope flowing throughout the Yankiverse like menstrual fluid in a senior citizens kazoo band.

Oppenheimer is the puppet master behind the last nine years of Yankee drafts, which netted next to nothing in 2012, absolutely nothing in 2013, and probably nothing in 2014. When you think of Oppenheimer keeping his job, you have to wonder what that strength coach did to get canned. My guess: He was caught on video stealing pins from the universal weight machine. I hate guys who do that.  

OK... I don't want to make fun of a guy losing his job. And there is an argument for maintaining organizational stability. But one part of Mark Feinsand's story simply does not hold up. 

The claim is that Oppenheimer saved his job by having a solid 2013 draft. Frankly, this is a joke. It's waaaaaaay too early to assign success or failure to the June draft. Right now, they're all future superstars. And in fact, two of our three first-round picks - Aaron Judge and Ian Clarkin - barely showed up. Both were hurt. Judge has yet to experience a professional at-bat. And this was the great, job-saving draft?

To claim such success is typical Yankee organizational crapola. By this time next fall, the 2013 draft could look like a disaster. We just don't know.

Of course, maybe scouting director doesn't matter. The real question is whether Oppenheimer next June will have any first-round picks to blow. If we sign a bunch of codgers - which the Gammonite Peanut Gallery is currently leading cheers to do - we might snag the one-game Wild Card - in exchange for another future dead zone.

Next June, I would really hate to be drafting behind Boston. And that future Yankee strength coach, whoever he is, had better keep track of the pins.