Hal Steinbrenner yesterday, in one-on-one negotiations, settled with Derek Jeter on a $12 million contract for next year, giving the Captain a raise even though 2013 was a Jeterian wipe-out. It's a respect thing. Lifetime achievement award. Either that, or Hal has a problem with performance metrics.
But no complaints, right? I think we're good with this. Jeet did what he could. It just wasn't much, because of his ankle.
Buried in the deal is that the Yankees somehow figured out voodoo math with regard to the MLB budget. The deal raises Jeter's salary but lowers the Yankee payroll, as Hal chases the magical $189 million tax threshold. I dunno how they did it. Lawyers. Accountants. Bag men. Beats me.
You might think it would be MLB's investigating arm to figure this out, but we all know not to go there.
Onward and upward: This is the year we cook the books.
Baseball finances are as impenetrable as the U.S. tax code. It's how the rich get richer while we foot the bill.
ReplyDeleteIt is absolutely true that if you have enough smart lawyers and accountants you can prove that a salary increase is a salary decrease.
ReplyDeleteNext year the Yankee lawyers and accountants will prove that in many games when the Yankees score fewer runs than the opponent, the Yankees have the better team. You simply have to adjust the score using basic principles of law, accounting, the rotation of the earth, the phase of the moon, and the desires of the person who is paying your salary.
Next year the actual record of the Yankees may be disappointing, but the adjusted record will probably be pretty good. The team might win the adjusted pennant.
I like where this is going. Anonymous has put his/her/its finger on something (hey, it's 'Anonymous', who knows?).
ReplyDeleteIf we win the adjusted pennant, I would bet good money that we sweep the adjusted postseason, just like in 1998 but not really.
Then we can have an adjusted parade up the Avenue of Heroes and throw adjusted tickertape out the windows of the financial district. They adjust things all the time down there, this will be a breeze.
Maybe we should make some t-shirts with the NY logo and 'Adjusting to 2014.' Hey, all kinds of shit sells, you never know.
We are on to something. Should we Renegotiate Ichiro too?
ReplyDeleteIs it just me, or is Lloyd getting bigger? Must be all the kick-boxing.
ReplyDeleteOscar Wilde, presciently commenting on the Yankee management team: "There is no sin except stupidity."
ReplyDelete