Rumors about Logan Forsythe and Bronson Arroyo raise Yankee fan excitement to explosive fever pitch

It’s that time of year, the Scrap Heap Season, which no one plays with more starling-into-the-picture-window, splattering intensity than Brian “Crash” Cashman. If you invited this man for dinner, he’d spend most of the time in your garage, looking for treasures. He’d make you an offer for that prized painting of the dogs playing poker. And today, he’s at it again, said to be working his magical spells to pry loose Logan Forsythe – yes, the Loganberry himself - from the pesky Padres of San Diego. That kind of pillow talk ratchets NYC excitement levels to Defcon 5. Forsythe in Pinstripes? PINCH ME!

But wait, there’s more! If the Yankees order now, MLB might throw in Bronson Arroyo, at no extra charge. Yes, the first true victim of A-Rod stands as the possible Yankee pitching fallback if the touring giant lizard from Japan, Masahiro Tanaka, takes his atomic breath to the Dodgers. Maybe I’m self-projecting, but some disturbing signs popped up in the last 24 hours to suggest the Yankee deal might be headed south. Two stories in the New York Post – the journalism equivalent of a backyard planter for Yankee bigwigs - are basically telling us not to expect or want Tanaka. An unnamed Yankee official says he’s “not sold” on the guy, and another says Tanaka’s pop star wife prefers the Mileys and Gwyneths of Los Angeles to cold NYC. Yes, blame it on Yoko.

Remember the days just before Cano dropped his Seattle bomb? The Yankee upper-level brownouts planted a story in the Post that said Robbie craved only money and didn’t care about team loyalty. It was a shot across the bow and, in retrospect, an attempt to deflect what they already knew: Cano was gone. So, are they doing it again? (Better question: Why wouldn’t they be doing it again?)

The Yankees this winter have been harder to figure out than traffic cones on the George Washington Bridge. They ran out and signed Brian McCann to a five-year-deal, and then Jacoby Ellsbury to seven -  two long term contracts that will eventually haunt them – while they we whining about Alex Rodriguez’ last few years. Then they added three years to Carlos Beltran – something they refused to do the last time he was a free agent, back when he was younger. Were they just grabbing the biggest names available, because Robbie was heading out the door? Now, they have George Costanza and Bert Convey to pitch every fourth and fifth day, or to play 2B and 3B – while they count on Derek Jeter and Mark Teixeira making full recoveries, and nobody else to get hurt.

Is there a plan here, other than to deflect criticism when something is on the horizon? The Yankees are talking about a trade for Forsythe – an infielder who batted .214 last year – and/or signing Arroyo, the living definition of a middling 5^th starter. Yes, I know, I know, I know... spare parts can be critical to a team. And if you're talking about Forsythe as the 25th man, no sweat. If Arroyo is the long reliever, no problem. But right now, Forsythe could bat seventh, and Arroyo would start every fourth game. That's going to beat Boston? On what planet?

The Yankees better find some NYC celebrities that Mrs. Tanaka wants to meet. Hello, Miley? Wanna host Saturday Night Live again?

Scrap Heap Baseball, everybody. If you see Brian Cashman, lock your garage.