It would uncool if I didn't just say, fukkit. Here they are, comrades, Number 2 and Number 1.
2.Derek Jeter
Where to start? As kid, idolized Dave Winfield; was nation's best high school player; hit legendary Jeffrey Maier-snatched "Angel in the Outfield" HR; named Subway Series MVP; made "The Flip," (voted 7th greatest play of all time); made "The Dive," (voted best play of 2004); made "The Speech" closing Yankee Stadium, (voted best moment of 2008); named "Mr. November" for HR against Arizona; named Yankee captain in 2003; subject of HBO documentary, Jeter 3K; dated Mariah Carey; Jessica Beil, Jessica Alba, Minka Kelly, Jordana Brewster, Hannah Davis, Scarlett Johansson - and those are just the ones we know about; has publishing imprint with Simon & Schuster; has own cologne, Driven; hawked for Nike, Gatorade, Fleet Bank, Ford, Visa, Discover, Gillette and XM; hosted Saturday Night Live, appeared on Seinfeld, in Anger Management, The Other Guys, digitally in several videogames, including Derek Jeter Pro Baseball 2008; has wax figure in Madam Tussauds wax museum; part of Bronx Bombers Broadway play; MLB's most recognizable player; unblemished reputation; ladies get gift baskets; asks for cell phones when entertaining guests; soon to be TV personality; if he doesn't blow it this year... he'll be No. 1.
And finally...
The Coolest Yankee of All-Time...
The Chairman of the Board...
The Chairman of the Board...
1. Whitey Ford
1 Born in Astoria, a few miles from Yankee Stadium; called "Whitey" due to hair; called "Slick" due to calmness under fire; called "The Chairman of the Board" due to command; called "Whiskey Sticks" by Casey Stengel for reasons unknown; pitched two consecutive one-hit games; won first nine games in majors; undisputed ace of '61 Yanks, greatest team ever; leads all Yank pitchers in wins (236); had no fastball, survived on guile and control; threw 243 innings without yielding one stolen base; started Game One in 8 World Series; served two years in Korean War; doctored ball to fan Willie Mays in 1961 All Star game, winning bet, so he Mickey's bar tab disappeared; an animated character on The Simpsons, cameo on Remington Steele; name used by rapper Everlast in album Whitey Ford Sings the Blues; famous for keeping cool head in bombastic nights of drinking by Mickey, Billy Martin and others; never tainted by scandal; always had something up sleeve... the coolest Yankee of all.
I agree. I am the only "poll" vote for Whitey so far. a vote I cast before you revealed him as number one.
ReplyDeleteYay for me.
did you just forget about Boomer or wasn't he a Yankee long enough?
ReplyDeleteRemember those ads Jeet did a couple of years back for the Ford Edge? (Jeter's got an edge...) I laughed at those. No way Jeets would ever drive a bucket like that, right? Then one night I saw Jeter drive out from under the Stadium. He was driving a Ford Edge. I actually thought that was pretty cool.
ReplyDeleteSorry about Boomer, Bam Bam, everybody who didn't make it
ReplyDeleteNo Mickey Mantle? Yes, alcoholic hicks are generally not cool. But everyone wanted to be Mantle. Who wanted to be Whitey Ford or Jim Bouton? And anyway, how can a pitcher who plays every fourth or fifth day ever be truly cool?
ReplyDeleteNo, Mantle was so iconic and beloved that he transcended cool. Plus, he has the James Dean bad boy element of cool completely locked up.