Floating zeppelin hotel was in shop for repairs, so Yankee third starter arrives on private 787

Masahiro Tanaka, whom Brian Cashman hopes will fill the gap days between Hiroki Kuroda's looming apocalypse and the next sightings of Chris Bootcheck, came to the Homeland yesterday with a blitz of showmanship worthy of that blonde dragon lady on Game of Thrones, the one Seth MacFarlane is/was schztupping. He rented a Boeing 797 Dreamliner.

Bravo, Professor Tanaka, bravo.

In one bold stroke, he's put himself up there with Reggie and A-Rod, in terms of ostentatious wealth, and that's not even counting the toy poodle, who probably had its own in-flight movie (Beethoven? Air Bud?) Yes, I'm a little concerned about the toy poodle; we all would prefer a Doberman, or maybe a cougar. (Then again, we don't want to go down the Mel Hall road again, eh?) Maybe, while he's in New York, Tanaka will buy a bridge - a real bridge!

Listen: The Yankees signed Tanaka because the incoming Murdochian regime at YES projected a ratings train wreck in 2014 - games coming in behind the nightly Ag Commodities Report and reruns of Ben Casey. This was as much about beating Dog the Bounty Hunter than John Lester. They signed him not to win us, the diehard Yankee fan, but the undecideds of NYC.

If Tanaka is good - Yu Darvish-level - he's our ace, no matter how hard Cashman tries to reduce expectations. If Tanaka tanks - Kei Igawa-level - well, at least we'll get a few back pages in April and May. Odds are he'll be somewhere in the middle. But a dab of craziness is usually a good sign. Right now, he's still 24 and 0. And he's our toy poodle.