Ryan out, Yangervis marches on... But who spells Jeet when Jeet's feet feel jitty?

Uh-oh. Didn't see that coming...

In December, when the Eve-Emp snagged Brendan Ryan for two years, we figured he was golden in the field, the perfect defensive replacement for Derek Jeter, and if he ever hit a single, we'd book a banquet hall and serve cheesecake. So what if he channeled Chico Escuela. (Pictured) He had the glove.

Now, they're saying pinched nerve in the back.

Five words: Pinched. Nerve. In. The. Back.

Speaking on behalf of the lost legions who have endured pinched nerves in their backs, I respectfully say: ICEBERG, DEAD AHEAD! I don't know how Ryan can play SS unless he has a full recovery. Just leaning forward in a defensive posture will bring pain. They are making Carl Pavano jokes in Tampa. But the real comparison is Kevin Youkilis. Bad backs are bloody hell. This is a HUGE setback - akin to Grandyman last spring - and once again, we are the prisoner of our own excesses. Why did we give the guy a two-year?

Right now, the Yankees face an untenable SS situation: They have Jeter - compromised by age and ankle - and a bunch of replacements more suited to 2B. None excels with the glove. None can play SS.

My guess? Cashman will make a move. He'll either trade for a SS, or hit the scrap heap - yes, our good friend and benefactor since 2011, the Honorable Dr. Scrappy! The Yankees will not fly north without a pure defensive replacement for Jeter.

This is bad. This is really bad. Jeet is not hitting a lick. He'll improve, but what will we have? A .270 DH, without power? Right now, our only positive is Yangervis Solarte, though his average has plummeted to .455. I say "plummeted;" it was near .600. You can't help but root for the guy; it's been a while since somebody vaulted out of the Yankee abyss. But Yangervis is not the Yankeevis' answer.

It should have been Stephen Drew. I think that two-year deal with Ryan put the kibosh on signing Drew. Cashman must look for a short-term replacement, thinking Ryan will return... just as he squandered the first months of last season, expecting Youkilis to rise from his gurney. Something has to happen. We cannot have Jeter entering the season, feeling he must play every inning, because his replacement might boot a critical ground ball.

Jeez Louise. How did we get to August so fast? Suddenly, 85 wins looks like a pipe dream. We need an epidural. Help us, Dr. Scrappy! Help us!