Thursday, July 17, 2014

Drunk BLOG: I AM BEING DEVOURED BY FIRE ANTS AND LEECHES, AND THEY ARE NAMED CARLOS BELTRAN AND BRIAN MCCANN

WHO IS P;TCHING TONIGHT? PHELSP, RIGHT? IT SHOULD BE PHELPS. MY CAP IS STUCK. I CAN'T SWITCH THE CAP LOCK BACK INTO PLACE. THIS WOULD BE HILARIOUS, IF IT WASN'T TRUE. I'M "DOFFING MY CAPS" TO JETER. it - wait - it's off.

We have been drinking growlers. Craft brews. Did you know that Florida refuses to allow growlers? How stupid can a state be? I'm not worried about kids coming to America from Honduras. I'm worried about kids coming to New York from Florida, a place so backward it does not allow the sale of growlers. It's three o'clock, and it feels like ten o'clock... the late one, not the early one.

Give McCann and Beltran two weeks. After that, let Cervelli catch, and send Beltran to surgery, so the captain can be DH. Simple.

2 comments:

  1. we have upgraded our seats for tonight's game. In honor of duque's current predicament, we're going to sit in the "Jim Beam Suit". I'll see if one can get a decent Manhattan in Yankee Stadium. maybe get an expensive beef sandwich. might even watch a few innings of baseball...

    ReplyDelete
  2. KD, your livin' the dream for all of us, LOL,,, ENJOY!!!!

    ReplyDelete

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