Do Fear the Reaper: The Yankees have become a nostalgia act

I went to a garden party to reminisce with my old friends/ A chance to share old memories and play our songs again. /When I got to the garden party, they all knew my name. / No one recognized me, I didn't look the same...


Today, the Yankiverse honors Joe Torre, the last truly successful Yankee manager - the latest in a progression of oldies concerts, designed to fill the void of an August without otherwise meaningful games.

GeezerFest began with Tino Martinez, moved into the masses with Old-Timers Day, picked up steam with Paul O'Neill, hits its stride today with Torre, and will reach a cresendo with the farewell to Derek Jeter, when all the singers collaborate on a version of the Beatles "Yesterday." Seriously, who needs a pennant race? We've got Night Ranger, Styx and Foreigner.

To commemorate this great day, manager Joe Girardi last night drained his bullpen, Torre- style. (Brian Cashman should be on the phone to Tanyan Sturtze and Scott Proctor. Unless Hiroki Kuroda goes eight, we'll be visiting the land of David Huff.) And with the walk-off celebration last night, you'd think the original members of Blue Oyster Cult had reunited to take the stage and play "Don't Fear the Reaper." Either that, or somebody gave Francisco Cervelli an ice unexpected bucket challenge.

I certainly don't want to throw cold water over a Yankee win. Not me. I'm ready to hoist Alfonso onto my shoulders, shirtless, so he can wave his Bic lighter in the air. And who knows? Maybe Mr. Torre has one miracle left to bestow on his old team. But the speeches and the plaques - the songs and the dances - cannot obscure the fault lines on the giant video board, when the camera zooms in for a close-up:

Four games above .500. Thirty-six to go. Three behind in the loss column. Two teams ahead of us. All for a one-game, half-court shot... almost certainly in Oakland.

I'm not biting. Not yet. Two wins - against Houston and Chicago - nope. Not enough.

Well it's all right now; I've learned my lesson well...
You see, you can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself...