From now on, Tank, think twice before going bang-zoom on your wife!
Thanks to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, scores of lucky ladies can now walk their living rooms without having to fear the flash of a sudden left uppercut, or to find themselves looking up to see a jubilant sack dance performed by their enraged, 340-pound steroidal hubby, who is wondering why they didn't do the dishes.
From now on, boys, beat on the little lady, and you'll face a six-game suspension!
Yep, that's not a misprint, folks. Six games!
That's right, guys. The NFL is throwing the penalty flag at wife-beaters. That's almost a third of the season - and nearly half as much as some guys get for smoking pot!
Make no mistake: You send that lady to the E.R. room, and come next Sunday, you'll be watching the game on TV in her hospital room.
Let's see...Goodell has blocked research into player brain damage, employed people who kept saying there was no such thing, has let guys get away with domestic abuse scot-free, and finally instates a penalty for abuse that's basically a joke.
ReplyDeleteDid anyone look into this guy for the MLB commish job? Sounds like he'd be a terrific heir to Bud 'I never knew about any steroids' Selig.