Oh, no! The Yankees may have lost their two big hitters: Teixeira (.217) and Beltran (.233)

In comedy, they say timing is everything. Maybe the same holds true for farce.

This year, the Incompetent Empire has suffered from dreadful timing, especially with injuries. Yesterday, Mark Teixeira was pulled after wincing noticably in a swing. Meanwhile, Carlos Beltran is in the waiting room for surgery on his elbow, an issue he battled all summer. Both guys apparently have been playing hurt.

Sadly, the injuries come too late to get these two clogged arteries out of the Yankee lineup.

Listen: I love Tex. I hope he someday hosts Saturday Night Live. But this season, he's been terrible, several notches below Overbay Country, and there is no graceful way to put it. If he can't return something remotely resembling his former self, the Yankees should waive him. He's worse than nothing.

Don't believe me? Here are some stats. (Children should leave the room.) Over the last 28 days, Tex is hitting .157. One-fifty-seven. Over the second half of this season: he is hitting .179. One-seventy-nine. In July, he hit .203. In August, .193. In September, .179.  Oh, and these Lenn Sakataian averages were not the reverse leverage of a power splurge. Over the entire second half of the season, Tex has six HRs. And he did this in the middle of our batting order. BE GONE, DEMON.

This year, Beltran was his Bobbsy Twin. Over the last 28 games, Carlos has hit .200. In the month of September, he is hitting .156. Again, he's batting third, fourth or fifth.

Anybody want to know why the Yankees can't score more than two runs per game? It's because these two dead batteries have been gumming up the works.

Down in Scranton, the Yankees have a no name, studying to become a nobody, called Kyle Roller. He is 26, too old for Baseball America, and what the experts call "organizational fodder," whatever that means. Generally, the Yankees stash these guys at Scranton until they die. Roller had a great year. He hit .300 with 26 HRs, most in the organization.

A September call up? No way. Never got so much as a tip of the cap.

I don't know if Kyle Roller has a future in baseball - I doubt he does with the Yankees, but that more a reflection of them than him. But I cannot believe Kyle Roller - or anybody, for that matter - could have done worse than Mark Teixeira did over the last month.

So, at last, ding dong, the witch is dead! The Bobbsy Twins are going home. Let's hope a winter of rest gives them time to heal - and to think about things like bunts, hits to the opposite field, and fooling overshifts. Otherwise, let's hope they think about retirement.