CC Sabathia may have already found his new career

An old Woody Allen joke goes: "Those who can't... teach. Those who can't teach... teach gym."

It could be updated: "Those who can't... write. Those who can't write... write children's books."

Not saying CC can't write. But George Saunders can sleep tonight.

Anyway, it's a very nice book by a very nice man. It beats Tiki Barber's line of children's books. Or George Foreman's. Or Madonna's. Or Rush Limbaugh's. It beats a lot of them.

When Santa takes a night off, the real big man - CC - comes to his rescue.

With that Sabathia dials up some help from his "special cell phone" and in walks George Steinbrenner. From there, The Boss takes over. He borrows Sabathia's magical phone and calls on some baseball legends to pitch in, get the toys built and allow CC and Carsten to deliver the goods. So in come Mickey Mantle, Joe DiMaggio, Ted Williams and at least a dozen more.

OK, we get it. But Ted Williams? Is that because his head is already at the North Pole? Anyway, Catfish and Bobby Murcer make dolls - any book that has Catfish and Bobby is OK with me - and (Spoiler alert here) CC delivers the goods.

If you're into brainwashing your children into becoming Yankee fans, this might work. Keep in mind, though, I tried, and they now all loathe the team. Life is funny.