Something's up. It's today's BIG news story. Actually, it's today's only news story.
Everyone... is... shopping!
Have you heard about this? Everyone... everywhere... shopping. It's incredible. It's unbelievable. Right now, you should be shopping. I should be shopping. So... dammit... stop reading! I've got to stop writing. MUST... GET OUT AND SHOP. Everybody... everywhere... SHOP, DAMMIT, SHOP!
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