My goal, of course, is to make an updated photo for Yankeetorials (See at right.) I figure the vast, spewing smegma of celebrities should provide backdrop for a selfy. Good grief, Kim and Kanye will be there. Snoop Dog will be there. Tony Romo. The cast of "The Walking Dead" (to appear on Jimmy Kimmel Show, live from SXSW.) Maybe even Jimmy Kimmel.
Most importantly, Sheer Mag will be there.
Sheer Mag is a Phily band that happens to be extremely close to my heart. Longtime IIH readers may remember The Deadly Spinners, of the infamous John Sterling WinWarble Song. The boys now produce - (I'm not making this up) - "eighties power pop, garage punk scuzz." They've been written up by Rolling Stone, Spin, The Guardian, NME, Pitchfork and a shitload of blogs. They're playing all over the place in Austin. I'm going to stalk them, get close, make eye contact and DEMAND they play the WinWarble Song. Or this one. Give a listen.
If I don't get a selfy with Kim Kardashian, I'll kneecap Romo on behalf of disgruntled Giants fans everywhere, and wear my Youkilis Yankee protest shirt through the streets of burgeoning weirdness. Damn. If he gets hurt, maybe Stephen Drew will be there.
(By the way, this formally designates Stephen Drew as the official 2015 IIH Whipping Mule. Until further notice, whatever goes wrong with the Yankees will be blamed on the signing of Stephen Drew. Apologies in advance to Mr. Drew's family and friends.)
Enjoy your well-deserved respite from the horror that is 2015 Yankees baseball. If you run into the Walking Dead folks, ask them if they need any extras. We've got half a roster that qualifies.
ReplyDeletemy former son in law who couldn't keep it in his pants will be there too. kick him in the balls for me. I'll send a picture.
ReplyDeletegood luck to the Deadly Spinners! although now Phillies fans, I hope they end a set with the winwarble song for you.
Oh crap we're left in the hands of boring dorks like John, whose fawning verbiage includes "respite"
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